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It’s What You Don’t Know That Hurts You: A Masterclass In Emotional Intelligence with Daniel Tolson | Evolution of Brand EP067

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Episode 067 Sponsor

Episode 067 of Evolution of Brand is sponsored by Bonjoro! Discover how you can connect with leads, customers, and colleagues in a unique, dynamic, impactful way with personalized videos. Click here to learn more

The Goods From Daniel Tolson

Top 3 Takeaways From This Value-Packed Conversation

  • Emotional intelligence is the ability to be self-aware and to understand what your strengths and your weaknesses are. Having a firm grasp on the five pillars of emotional intelligence will give you a better understanding of limiting beliefs, why people think and feel the way they do, and the power of influence and persuasion. In short, emotional intelligence = street smarts
  • We become our own worst enemies because we constantly drag our pasts into our future
  • Becoming an emotionally intelligent person and understanding your strengths and weaknesses puts you in a great position to earn more money and provide more value to your clients 

Show Notes

1:44 – A time when Daniel listened to himself instead of what others told him was right and it led to a major accomplishment

3:08 – Daniel tells his story, some of the obstacles he’s had to overcome, how perseverance played a strong role in his life at an early stage, and how everything he’s learned has shaped what he teaches others today

8:37 – Daniel recalls some moments when he was fighting the early battles as a child that kept him pushing forward to better days

10:01 – How did learning about perseverance and overcoming adversity at such a young age serve Daniel as an adult in his professional pursuits?
     – A fear that holds people back is the fear of losing stability. This will cause a person to become very stubborn when it comes time to change
     – Instead of pursuing goals, they retreat back into their comfort zone
     – To overcome the disabilities, Daniel had to break out of his comfortable zone and “become comfortable with discomfort”
     – All of these efforts made resiliency Daniel’s superpower and something that gives him a competitive advantage today

15:05 – How are business leaders, entrepreneurs, and professionals are sabotaging their own success today?
     – We become our own worst enemies because we keep dragging our past into our future
     – Three of the big items we drag into our futures are:
          – Our fears
          – Our doubts
          – Our limiting beliefs
     – If you don’t learn to let go of the emotional baggage yesterday, it gets dragged into tomorrow
     – Four big fears that many people simply cannot let go of:
          1. The fear of being taken advantage of
          2. The fear of rejection – we are conditioned with the word “no” very early in life and that can stay with us well into adulthood
          3. The fear of losing stability
          4. The fear of making a mistake

19:22 – What can we do to get beyond the pre-conditioning of saying “no” so frequently to our children so they can carry a more positive outlook into adulthood?

22:14 – What is emotional intelligence and why is it the biggest predictor of success for leaders today?
     – Most people don’t want to hear this statistic: 95% of humans claim to be emotionally intelligent, but the reality is only 10-15% of people actually are. We self-assess ourselves as far more emotionally intelligent than we actually are
     – Sometimes there are things outside of our own awareness. We don’t know all of our strengths and all of our weaknesses. And it’s not what we know that hurts us…it’s what we don’t know that hurts us
     – About 71% of the decisions we make in business turn out to be wrong, according to the American Management Association
     – Despite that statistic, if we get 71% of decisions wrong and 29% right and are still operating, we are still doing OK. But through emotional intelligence and becoming more self-aware, we can reduce the 71% number into the 60s
     – Emotional intelligence is broken down into five pillars:
          1. Self-awareness – understanding why we feel and think the way we do; our strengths and limitations
          2. Self-regulation – the ability to manage fears, doubts, and limiting beliefs and knowing which ones are impacting us the most
          3. Motivation – resiliency, desire, the ability to get knocked down and get back up
          4. Social awareness – the ability to look at other people and understand why they think and feel the way they do
          5. Social regulation – when influence and persuasion takes place
     – The summarized definition: Emotional intelligence = street smarts

28:03 – Daniel has conducted over 6,500 case studies on emotional intelligence. What have those studies revealed and were any a complete anomaly in comparison to typical findings?

33:02 – Why do emotionally intelligent salespeople earn more money?
     – Savvy companies are looking at potential candidates to hire based on their attitude, not their aptitude
     – At Loreal, emotionally intelligent sales people were generating an additional $91k based solely on their emotional intelligence alone!
     – An emotionally intelligent salesperson understands their strengths and weaknesses
     – An emotionally intelligent salesperson doesn’t focus on overdelivering on promises. They focus on delivering exactly what the customer is seeking
     – The seller wants a relationship BEFORE they’re sold to because the relationship removes the risk

38:09 – What does success mean to you personally?
     – The number one thing all people want is peace of mind

43:23 – Why are some people more successful than others?

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